Date: 2018-02-14 14:36
Hi Bellaisa, really good article, hoping to pick your brain here. I met a girl some time ago (we are students enrolled in the same university), and I think we had chemistry from the start. Most of the time, we hang out in a group but we both will be for the most part talking with each other. When we go out on movies, drinks etc, both of us will still be engaged with each other, facing each other and having conversations of our own. Our friends have also noticed how easily we connect, and tease me behind her back. I 8767 m pretty sure I have seen signs of flirting from her towards me from playing and correcting her hair, always smiling at me and always maintaining eye contact when we talk, things like that. We also sometimes tend to have deep conversations, where she has told me about her previous boyfriends (single now) in detail, even why they broke up. And I think the best sign I have that she is interested in me is that she 8767 s usually not very friendly towards guys. She only has a couple of guy friends, and from that a very few are close to her. And from what I can see and what our mutual friends tell me, I connect very easily with her, at least within the current company. I haven 8767 t asked her out on a date officially, but we have gone out to drinks and other places alone quite a few times, and from what I can tell, we both enjoy each others company. I haven 8767 t told anyone nor her that I 8767 m interested in her. But this is because I 8767 m almost certain what she will say if I ask her on a date No. Even if what I 8767 ve told you so far seems pretty good for me, its not really the case when dating is considered. For example, like I have mentioned before, I have asked her to go out for drinks, both with friends and without she has declined more times giving different reasons then she has said yes. We have each others numbers and Facebook, and chat occasionally sometimes she will give short answers and seems she doesn 8767 t want to chat sometimes she will not reply at all, and other times, we will chat for a very long time. I believe that if you 8767 re interested in someone, you will make time for them, especially when the other person is trying to spend time with you. But this is not the case, even though when we do meet, our chemistry is on display again. And most telling of all, I have seen a guy she is interested in more than as a friend, how she behaves around him and the effort she puts in to spend time with him, although they are not together. So, do you think she is just flirting with me for fun? Or playing hard to get? Or is it that although it seems we do connect on an intellectual level, we don 8767 t on a physical level? The guy she 8767 s interested in seems to appeal to her on a physical level. So is this about looks? I 8767 m a straightforward guy, and I know the obvious thing to do is to ask her out on a date, but I haven 8767 t done that because I know that at least for now, the answer will be a no. Most importantly, although I 8767 m convinced she doesn 8767 t want to date me now, I can tell she is interested in me, but maybe just short of actually dating. What can I do to change that, if anything?
Sorry for the long post and many questions, thanks for the article.
Hello Bellaisa, Great article and I read pretty much all your replies.
Im very confusing at the moment and I really need some help! I 8767 d be very appreciate if you could give me some suggestions.
This is going be a long message and please forgive me because my English isn 8767 t that good.
I have a huge crush on a guy at my gym. We are in the gym 5 days a week at similar time. I started noticed him February last year. We are both weightlifters. The reason I pay attention to him is because he 8767 s a good lifter and he 8767 s strong. I noticed he glances at me a lot but as soon as I look at him he look away immediately. July last year, i initiated a conversation with him, we mainly talked about our training, he was really friendly,smile but he seem quite nervous. The next day when I see him in the gym, he completely ignored me! He wouldn 8767 t look at me at all. From his facial expression, he looks very nervous. So I left him alone. I tried to talk to him again the next day he seem really friendly and happy. I told him he 8767 s a good lifter, he was blushing and he said I can train with him sometimes if I want, I said that 8767 s sounds great. Then same thing as usual whenever he sees me in the gym he ignores me. In last August, I tried to talk to him again and I said I will train with him next month, he was really happy and he asked me to text him if I wanted to train with him. He gave me his number. He only said hi to me once and came to talk to me once, rest of the time it was me the one talk to him and say hi first,he ignores me a lot.
I texted him a few weeks later after he gave me his number, I was just asking How his training going, he replied but didn 8767 t say very much at all. He didn 8767 t come to gym one day, I texted him to ask how he was, he didn 8767 t reply me. On September last year, he didn 8767 t go to the gym for more than a week, I text him to ask how he was, he didn 8767 t reply I found him on whatsapp and text him there, he said he was on holiday and he was asking me if I was missing him, I jokingly say yes I miss him dearly. We talked quite a bit that day but mainly about training. I noticed every time when I whatsapp him, he doesn 8767 t read my messages straightaway even though he 8767 s online. Even after he read my messages he often doesn 8767 t reply straightaway. Because of his confusing attitude , I didn 8767 t train with him because I wasn 8767 t sure if he wanted to train with me or not.
He has a good physique. Unlike other guys always wearing tank tops to show off their body, he 8767 s always wearing t-shirts and shorts. Quite a few times in the last few moths he was wearing tank tops and it 8767 s very obvious he tries to show off his body in front of me. No matter where I go in the gym, he will workouts right in front of me to make sure I can see him! What does that mean?
We haven 8767 t talk in the gym for like 8 or 9 months now. The last time I whatsapp him was in December last year. I text him to say hi and mentioned about my training progress, he replies really quick but didn 8767 t say much. When I asked his how his training going, he didn 8767 t reply even though he 8767 s been online all night. The next day, i text him and jokingly said 8775 I thought I was only invisible at the gym 8776 , he replied really quick this time and say 8776 sorry I was on the phone for more than an hour last night and completely forgot about your whatsapp and I 8767 m at work today. I didn 8767 t mean to ignore you 8776 . I felt hurt! I replied: 8775 I see. I hope you enjoy your training 8776 . I never text him since because I feel like I 8767 m being played!
In the gym, I ignore him. He still glances at me a lot. Last month, we were working out very close to each other. I noticed he tried to catch my attention, he then looking a girl 8767 s pictures on his phone and then looks at me to see my reaction, I ignored him. It seems like in the last few weeks he tried to have a eye contact with me but ignore him.
I noticed every time I talk to other guys he seems look at us a lot and see what we are doing.
Last week, I saw him training together with a girl. I 8767 m not sure if she 8767 s his girl friend but they aren 8767 t that close. I think I saw him with that girl before in a shopping center last summer.
Bellaisa, I 8767 m very very confused with his behaviour! If he 8767 s not interested then when gave me his phone number? If he 8767 s interested why ignores me?? I 8767 ve lost sleep many times because of him. It 8767 s been like this for many months now, I 8767 m thinking to just move on but the confusion is really killing me!!
Please tell me what you think and I will be very very appreciate it!
There 8767 s this girl I 8767 ve met in university who 8767 s doing the same course as me. I 8767 ve moved to this new city, and she 8767 s local here. I first met her in a library a month ago, and I 8767 ve only been able to talk to her there.
I 8767 ve noticed that she generally tries to avoid eye contact, but when we do make eye contact, she smiles and we get the chance to talk. For example, if one of us is sitting down and studying, we start talking like 65 or 75 minutes after we are both sitting on the same table. About half of the times, I start the conversation, and she starts the conversation the other half of the times. Every time I ask her a question, she replies with a medium to long answer (rather than just yes or no) and extends the conversation by asking me a question back. But the conversation doesn 8767 t last long because I fail to think of what to talk about, and we generally go back to studying. In terms of body language, I 8767 ve seen her lean towards me while talking, maintain eye contact and smiling at me. And when we are back to studying, she seems to avoid any eye contact, but she seems to touch her neck and her hair (I haven 8767 t seen her do that when she was sitting with her friends or other guy friends). One time, I was buying something, and I saw her in the line ahead of me she was talking to 8 guys and a girl at the time, and when their conversation paused, she looked at me and smiled. But she never asked me to hang out with her and her friends.
Furthermore, when we make eye contact in the lecture theatres (basically almost anywhere outside the library), she immediately looks away from me and keeps staying with her group of friends and talk to them.
Since I haven 8767 t hung out with her outside of the library yet, I tried to ask her if she knew any good restaurants in the city, and she replied she knows many good restaurants in the city, then smiled, said bye to me (like only the third time) and left. Then she started to leave slowly, as she talked to some of her friends, and as I eventually tried to walk down the library, I caught up to her and she said 8766 hi again, 8767 before leaving to another direction down the stairs. That was last Tuesday, and I haven 8767 t talked to her since. I did also ask her what she does during the weekend or free time, and she told me she works and studies.
I saw her at lectures again the following day, but she avoided eye contact with me as usual. To be honest, I kind of ignored her rather than trying to look at her. Yesterday, she came to the same library (where we always meet) and she sat at another table even though the seat next to me was vacant at the time. Was it a mistake not to approach her by going to the table she was sitting? I haven 8767 t seen her since then.